“Amma, I can only see your Bindi! I can’t see you!” Little Swara giggled as her grandmother tried to adjust the phone screen for the video call. This was a usual routine for the Raman family. Sheila and Sidharth Raman lived in the UK with their two kids. Sheila’s parents and Siddharth’s parents too lived in Mumbai. The couple made it a point to video call one set of parents every day and remained connected. They gave routine updates about their life in UK, asked about their parents, the extended family and were completely involved in each other’s lives. They also made sure that their two daughters, Swara (9) and Ridhima (5) also spoke with their grandparents. Besides daily phone calls, Sheila and Siddharth also made it a point to visit India once or twice a year with the children. The girls got to spend equal time with grandparents from both sides.

Sheila and Siddharth’s attempts to keep their children in touch with their grandparents were conscious and deliberate. They both had enjoyed their childhood with their respective grandparents and both of them knew that grandparents were the most cherished memories of their childhood. They were going to make sure that their children also experienced the love, care and warmth of the grandparents.

Sheila and Siddharth are among the scores of young couples who are aware of the invaluable bonds between family, especially between children and their grandparents. For kids living with their grandparents in a joint family system, they are blessed to have the grandparents company on a daily basis. Anyone who has lived with their grandparents in their childhood knows how influential and important those experiences are. But for those who live away from them whether in the country or out of the country, not having the grandparents around is definitely a loss of a chunk of fun in childhood. Thoughtful parents invest in making their parents a part of their kids growing up, albeit from a distance. Phone calls and yearly or half yearly vacations become the most precious time for both the parties.

Kids discover at an early age that grandparents are those go-to people who are forever interested in them. They are more patient, more enthusiastic and often more involved with what the child has to say. Parents are usually busy with their work, household chores and general parenting and may not have energy to listen to a child’s incessant talk and demand for attention. Grandparents are more or less done with their other responsibilities and can give more time to the child. If they enjoy good health, they also do not mind taking the grandkids for outings.

Having a connection between the first and the third generation creates a mentally extremely healthy foundation for the children. In the eyes of the children, grandparents give a sense of solidness and stability to the family structure. Apart from the priceless feeling imparted of being loved, the kids benefit from the older, wiser perspective of the grandparents. They are taught old time values that play a great role in forming the personality of the children. They learn many things from their grandparents and in turn, also teach new things to the old people. On the other hand, the grandparents feel energized in the company of the grandkids. They feel needed and responsible. They enjoy the company of the young ones and often relieve the parents from the stress of parenting. The noise and bustle when the grandkids come visiting once in a year or more, become the memories for them to live by for the rest of the months.

Having grandparents involved in the lives of children is beneficial, because they have the kind of influence that is very different from the influence of the parents. Children have the opportunity to experience things like, listening to stories, doing activities together, as well as being imparted with strong values that stand through the test of times. However, when children live apart from their grandparents, both experience their fair share of challenges. Often children who have grown up in nuclear families may not go through the learnings and challenges experienced by living in a joint family which imparts a sense of togetherness, being aware and acknowledging the needs of others, learning the concept of sharing, etc. However, with technology, this gap can be reduced to a certain extent. Frequently being in touch with the grandparents gives children an opportunity to share their days and experiences in a calm and patient manner. They may feel heard and understood, while the timeless wisdom of the grandparents may help children look at life from various perspectives. Similarly it is equally beneficial for the grandparents so as to reduce feelings of loneliness and boredom while having something to look forward to.